06/10/11

Dear Ginevera,
I can't believe tomorrow you will be two months old. It amazes me how much you are growing and so full of personality. Yesterday, we got your first professional pictures taken. I was worried you would cry through the whole thing but you handled it like a pro. For some reason you did not want to look at the camera. It was amazing though how the ladies handled it. They told me that you look like a little doll. I can't believe how beautiful you are. I have to say though, you look like your daddy. You have his eyes and a lot of his features. I have to say though you have my nose. Right, now you are sound asleep next to me on the couch. I believe you had a nightmare earlier as you cried in your sleep. It made me want to know what you are dreaming about. Right now breastfeeding for us is still a challenge. Sometimes you want to latch on perfectly and be fine. But other times you scream your head off for no reason that i could find. It breaks my heart because I want to breastfeed you so much. I want that special bond that no one else can get that only us can. We will get it that I know.
I pray every day that the challenges that we face now will be gone. I know how special you are to your Heavenly Father. He wanted you in my life as well as your daddy's. For some reason you needed to be here earlier then you were suppose to in our life. I love you so much, I can't wait till you have your own children to understand how much that I love you. Because Ginny, I realize how much my mother loves me. It's a special kind of love to tell you the truth. Your heart breaks everytime your child cries no matter if they are just tired. It amazes me the kind of love that we share.
I am trying to better my life for you. I want to be healthy and be able to be alive as long as I can. Right now I am overweight not because I was pregnant with you because I have lost all that weight already. But because I ate a lot of unhealthy things growing up. I want to change and I am doing my best to change for you.
I love you,
Mommy