09/05/2011

Dear Ginny,
Lately, you have been an extremely fussy little girl. I know it's because you are teething and your gums are very sore. I wish I could make it better as you scream and cry. It hurts my heart that I can't. I just hold you and try to comfort you the best that I can. I love you with my whole heart.
Love,
Mommy

08/21/2011

Dear Ginny,
I can't believe how big you have gotten. At your last doctor's appointment you weighed 13lbs and you were 24 inchs tall. You are a very tall little girl. You amaze me all the time. You love the song, "If you are Happy when you know it." When I say you love it I mean when you are fussing for no reason all i have to do is start singing the song and you give me the biggest grin. You also love giving me kisses. You started going to the day care on Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays. So far you enjoy it. You play with a little boy who is two years old. This picture was taken the other day. It makes me smile how big and strong you are. You still can't sit up by yourself but you are now rolling over on the floor. I can't wait to watch you some more. I love you my little angel.
Mommy

06/14/11

Dear Ginny,
This past weekend was a busy one for you. I believe you are still trying to recover from the hectic week. Grandma Susie picked us up to go to her house for the weekend since your daddy had to work till Saturday evening. Grandma took us shopping and we went to a book sale. On Saturday, you scared Grandma to death. Since Grandma and me stayed up way late playing Wii games I decided to just put you in bed with me. Well, Grandma had a nightmare that I rolled over on top of you in my sleep. Which of course did not happen as I take naps with you all the time. Well, she came up to wake us up and I guess she didn't see you move in your sleep. You often move around in your sleep. So she picked your hand up and dropped it on the mattrace and you still didn't wake. She screamed and all I had to say was your name. You moved. It was pretty funny to tell the truth. We went up to Grandma's work so she could show you off and then went shopping. Around noon we went to your Godmother Sarah's open house for graduating college. Everyone wanted to hold you. Then we went to your Aunt Johanna's bridal shower. Then Daddy and us went to your other grandparents house where all your aunts and uncles were. I got pictures of you and your cousins Addie and Kendyll together. I can't wait to see you grow up with them.
Love you,
Mommy

06/10/11

Dear Ginevera,
I can't believe tomorrow you will be two months old. It amazes me how much you are growing and so full of personality. Yesterday, we got your first professional pictures taken. I was worried you would cry through the whole thing but you handled it like a pro. For some reason you did not want to look at the camera. It was amazing though how the ladies handled it. They told me that you look like a little doll. I can't believe how beautiful you are. I have to say though, you look like your daddy. You have his eyes and a lot of his features. I have to say though you have my nose. Right, now you are sound asleep next to me on the couch. I believe you had a nightmare earlier as you cried in your sleep. It made me want to know what you are dreaming about. Right now breastfeeding for us is still a challenge. Sometimes you want to latch on perfectly and be fine. But other times you scream your head off for no reason that i could find. It breaks my heart because I want to breastfeed you so much. I want that special bond that no one else can get that only us can. We will get it that I know.
I pray every day that the challenges that we face now will be gone. I know how special you are to your Heavenly Father. He wanted you in my life as well as your daddy's. For some reason you needed to be here earlier then you were suppose to in our life. I love you so much, I can't wait till you have your own children to understand how much that I love you. Because Ginny, I realize how much my mother loves me. It's a special kind of love to tell you the truth. Your heart breaks everytime your child cries no matter if they are just tired. It amazes me the kind of love that we share.
I am trying to better my life for you. I want to be healthy and be able to be alive as long as I can. Right now I am overweight not because I was pregnant with you because I have lost all that weight already. But because I ate a lot of unhealthy things growing up. I want to change and I am doing my best to change for you.
I love you,
Mommy

06/06/2010

Dear Ginevera,
You are sound asleep laying next to me. I can't believe that I am your mommy. It amazes me everyday that how much you are growing. I love you so very much.

Love you,
Mommy

06/02/11

Dear Ginny,
I can't believe you are almost two months old. It amazes me how fast you are growing into the little girl that I always have dreamed of. It hasn't been an easy road for the first month of your life. It all started the thursday before you were born when I had a doctor's appointment. I didn't expect to hear the news that my blood pressure was high. But it was and it worried the doctor enough that she wanted me to go to labor and delivery and get watched for a couple of hours in hopes that it would go down. If it did not go down then they would induce me. I was scared as I was not thirty-seven weeks pregnant with you yet. Thankfully, my blood pressure started to go down and I was sent home on bed-rest. Your grandma came down as she was worried about the two of us on Friday. She stayed the weekend with us and helped take care of us. Your dad and I decided it would be best to buy a blood pressure cuff on Friday to keep track of when my blood pressure was high. It seems that it was high when I was relaxing but when I was moving around it was lower. On Sunday, we decided to go in to labor and delievery after a huge lunch (thanks to grandma) to get checked out as my blood pressure was staying high. Our doctor was on call for the weekend and she decided to induce me that night. At about nine pm the doctor came in and broke my water. My goodness, Ginny, that is the weirdest thing ever. It was very warm and very wet. Also it would not stop coming out no matter what happened. Of course up to that point I was still not feeling contractions but were told that they were pretty strong. At midnight, I started to feel the contraction and by this time your other Grandma had arrived. The contractions were quite painful but I wanted to go as long as I could naturally to have you. At about one am in the morning I was convinced by your grandma's and your father to get the drugs so I could get some sleep as I was still only half way there. Finally, I got the drugs which was not the pleasant thing to do and was able to sleep a little bit. At seven am I still was not very far in having you so the doctor decided it was time for an emergency c-section. I cried because it was not something that I wanted. I wanted to have you naturally and be able to recover right away with you in my arms. But it was not in the plan that Heavenly father had planned. I was given more drugs so that I couldn't feel anything below my chest. To tell you the truth I wasn't nervous about the surgery. I was more nervous about my knee popping out of it's socket. It was just your dad and me in there with the doctor and lots of nurses. I heard your father say, "Lots of hair" as you were pulled from my body. You did not cry except a little whimper. You still don't cry that much which is very interesting to me. Your father went to watch them clean you up and weight you. You weighed at 8lbs 5 ozs and were 18.5 inches long. You were born on Apirl 11th, 2011 at 8:08am. Your father brought you over to me so I could see you and oh how I wanted to hold you. When we went to recovery room and I had a chance to hold you it was amazing. I loved every second of it.
Things started to go down hill after you did not nurse successfully. It broke my heart that our first attempt at breastfeeding was not successful. But I was willing to try again with you. But i was not given the chance as your blood suger was very low. Then more things started to happen and they put you in the nursery and very little let me hold you. On Tuesday the 12th at 10:00pm they decided to transfer you to another city for more help. Thankfully, I was able to go with you. Finally, you were able to come home on the 21st. Even though I had to bottle feed you some breastmilk but mostly forumla.
About a week ago though something clicked in the little mind of yours and you decided to latch on perfectly. It's amazing to breastfed you my sweet little girl. I love you so very much. I love your smiles that you give me and your little sounds.

Love you,
Mommy

03/29/11

Dear Ginny,
We have just thirty-five days till your due date. It's amazing how quick the pregnancy is going. Soon I will be able to hold you in my arms instead of in my body. I can't wait to see you.
So your baby shower was on the 19th and had a huge turn out. Tons of women came to it and they were all excited to celebrate you. You got a ton of homemade things. It's amazing how much homemade things we got. People are thinking that you will be born with hair. Because we got a ton of hair things. I can't wait to see your things on you.
Your Aunt Necia and I finally found your dresser and it should be here this Saturday. Your dad and I bought your stroller, car seat, pack n' play, and swing. Your dad put them all together and we both got more excited to meet you. Once the dresser is in then I can finish decorating your room. I can't wait to put everything together.
I am starting to nest as I am realizing that you could come before your due date. So I am trying to rush and get things done in my classes. Especially since I have been getting contractions off and on.
I love you,
Mommy
P.s. I love watching your daddy kiss my belly. I can't wait to see him with you.

03/16/11

Dear Ginny,
I love talking about you to anyone that wants to hear. Several people get chances to feel you move and it makes me smile.
Ginny, your room is coming together. The only big thing right now is a dresser for your room. I am working with your Aunt Necia to find a really nice one. I can't wait to have the dresser so I can finish getting your room together. For my spring break, my goal is to clean the apartment really well and decorate your bedroom. Soon you will be here and its coming up fast.
Your dad and I are so excited to meet you. We can't wait to see you and your personality. We talk about you all the time. Your baby shower is this Saturday and I can't wait to see everything that is going to be yours. Already got some gifts that are so amazing.
Love you,
Mommy

03/15/11

Dear Ginny Lynne,
You have been growing within me for thirty-three weeks. Which means we have any time from four to eight weeks together. It's amazing me that that we don't have much left till I have to share you with everyone. This past Saturday, we had the pleasure to go to birthing class. It was a long day and I learned a few things. I learned more during the breastfeeding one then the rest. After class, I realized that I was having a lot of pain in my hip. It got worse when travelling to ______. Saturday night was a disaster. I couldn't sleep because the pain was severe. We left early from ______. So early that we missed your cousin Addie's baby blessing. I am feeling bad about missing it but sitting was making me cringe in pain.
Your Grandma ________ came down to take care of us on Sunday night. She also helped clean carpets in your bedroom and the living room. It's been nice to have her help. She can't wait to meet you and to hold you. She has bought so much for you. I love looking at things she has found. It's been amazing to see everyone excited to see you.
I love you,
Mommy

03/11/11

Dear Ginevera,
Today a natural disaster happened in Japan. They had a major earthquake and then a huge wave crashed onto it. so far there is over 10,000 dead. Ginny, the world is not a safe place.
Love you,
Mommy

03/07/2011

Ginny,
This past weekend your dad and I worked hard to pull things out of what will soon be the nursery. I took time to set up your crib and I am so glad that I picked out that bedding. I can't wait to see you in your bedroom. Your Grandma _____ will be coming to help clean carpets so your room will be clean for your arrival. Your an amazing little girl, Ginny. You make your father and I want to better ourselves. We love you with all of our hearts.
Love you,
Mommy

03/03/11

Dear Ginevera,
Right now I am writing this while fighting back tears. I took my econ exam on Tuesday and today I found out that I failed it. This exam I studied my butt off and my studying didn't pay off. I got my fifty percent on the exam, but thankfully the teacher curved it so I got a C- on it. Why am I telling you this? Because it's going to happen to you at some point in your schooling. You are going to come home so confused on why you recieved a lower grade on the exam you study hard for. I just want you to know that I understand.
I love you feeling you move. You are getting stronger and moving more. This morning, I watched you have hiccups. You make me smile even when I know you are frustrated with said hiccups. I love you, Ginevera Lynne _____.
Love you,
Mommy

03/01/11

Ginny,
Today, marks that I am thirty-one weeks pregnant with you. Which means that we have about six to nine weeks left together. A part of me wishes it would slow down as I like the feeling of having you alone to myself. But another part wants to know what you look like and be able to hold you in my arms. I am so excited to meet you. To know the little human moving with in me. I pray every day that you are healthy and growing. Till the day we meet each know that I love you and want to kiss you and hug you.
Love ya,
Mommy

02/21/11

Ginevera Lynne ........,
It is really hitting me that you could be here from seven to ten weeks away. It is really happening that you will be here soon. I was able to hold your cousin Addie in my arms and it got me really thinking of holding you. Your cousin is so darn cute. It was interesting to see your Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Natalie as parents.
It was an enjoyable visit as i was able to cuddle and love on Addie. Which I don't think you enjoyed as much as you kept kicking her. Or perhaps you wanted to play with her. Ginny, you will get your chance with your cousin soon.
I can't wait to get everything ready to see your room come together. Your grandmother ..... is making so much stuff for your room. She showed me some of it and its so pretty. I can't wait to put everything together for your room. I will most likely be getting your room done over my spring break. After all my huge baby shower is the Saturday before my Spring Break.
Ginevera, I am so excited to meet you. I look forward to Thursday as I get to hear your heartbeat again.
Love you,
Mommy

02/17/11

Ginny,
Let me tell you about your mom. I make mistakes with in school. I know that's hard to believe but I do. In high school, I didn't try hard enough to get good grades. Which came off my first two years of college. Which now I am retaking classes as I can get into my major. But Ginny, I still make mistakes. Like I should have studied more on my geography class. I know my grade will go down because of it. Ginny, school is important and I am starting to realize how important it is.
Love you,
Mommy

02/16/11

Ginny,
I was reading a blog online and they were talking about writing love letters to their children every valentine's day. But I am already past that tradition since I have been writing to you every couple of days it seems. But as I am always thinking of you. Like today, I have flet you move. At some points it's frustrating because it disracts me from my class and homework. Like today, you were movingg around so much at some times it was painful. Don't get me wrong, because I love feeling you move with in me.
So Ginny, your Aunt Necia and Grandma ______ were so kind and bought your crib. Your dad and I picked your crib and tonight I believe your father plans to build it. I am so excited to see it together. Things are making it come real that you will be here soon.
Love you,
Mommy

02/14/11

Dear Ginevera,
Happy Valentine's Day, my sweet baby girl. Tomorrow, you will be in my body for twenty-nine weeks. It's amazing feeling to be able to say that I love being pregnant. I love this feeling and how simple its been. Ginevera, you are my valentine. Of course it's different then your father. I can't wait to next year when I can kiss you and love on you.
Yesterday, your dad was trying to prepare your bedroom. We should be getting the crib soon for you. The plan is that you will sleep in your crib the first night home. We shall see if that really works out. Also your Grandma _______ will be coming to witness your birth, but she will be staying awhile after you are born to help out at the house. Ginny, I am so excited to actually meet you. Can you believe your due date is only eleven weeks away. I went through some baby clothes that your Aunt Christy gave me. It makes me realize how small you will be.
Two days ago I saw your perfect head on my stomach. It shocked me that I could see the shape of it. I hope that someday I will see your food or hand poke out.
I love you,
Mommy

02/11/2011

Dear Ginny,
I can't believe how far we are in the pregnancy. We only have eighty-one days till your due date. Today is sort of a sad day. My friend Ally found out that her little girl was not going to make it to full term a year ago. She was a very pretty little baby. It makes me realize how lucky I am that you are healthy right now.
Ginny, you are important to me. I can't wait to see what you look like. Do you look like your dad with his green-brown eyes. Do you look like me? What color of hair will you have? Black, Brown, even red. I want to know so very much but I know i still have awhile.
Love you,
Mommy

02/07/2011

Dear Ginny,
Can i tell you how amazing you are even though your not very old. Ginny, you are such a special little spirt in my life. Do you really know how much you are loved right now in my body. As you move within my body as I sit. It causes me to smile every single time. Your dad gets a smile on his face when we talk about you in our life. Your grandmothers love you and want to know you and spoil you. Your Aunt Christy couldn't stop touching you trying to feel you move. Your cousins really didn't know what to think.
Ginny, I love you so much. I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait to hold you in my arms and kiss you. I can't wait to watch you grasp your father's finger tightly. I can't wait to watch your father's reaction to you. He doesn't believe that you will have him wrapped around your finger.
My darling little girl, I am jealous that you will have a wonderful father who loves you with his whole heart. Ginny, your mommy was not that lucky in her life. She didn't have a father that loved her. Ginny, you are filling holes in my heart.
Love you,
Mommy

02/04/2011

Dear my darling little girl,
Right now I am sitting in class pushing either your hand or foot. To feel you pushing back towards me. It's just amazing to feel your strength as you push. You amaze me little girl and that keeps my love growing for you.
Your Aunt Natalie is at the hospital giving birth to your cousin Addie. I can't wait to meet your cousin that I can see you playing games with you. I see you two girls chasing each other around the room. See you girls fighting but as we leave start to cry because you want to play a little bit longer. Ginny, do you realize how lucky you are to not only have one girl cousin your age but two. At family gatherings with your dad's family, you will have a friend to play with. Not only that but a girl cousin on my side as well. You will have a chance to play with your cousin Abby.
Love,
Mommy

02/03/2011

Dear Ginny,
I can't stop thinking about you. My mind is wrapped around everything that involves around you. How much that I want you to be safe and grow healthy. Lately, you seem to not move much which makes me worried. Ginny, please move more so you can ease my heart. I love feeling you move around. It comforts me to know that you are okay.
Love,
Mommy

1/31/11

Dear Ginny,
I am so blessed in my life. I can't imagine someone else that I would want to be married to other then your father. He makes me so happy when he is near me. He gets worried about your safety especially today with the ice that is forming on the sidewalks. When your father and I are alone he gently rubs my stomach and shows his love and excitment that you are growing with in me. He doesn't talk much about your future like I do but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. The silent gestures he does makes me love him even more. Ginny, you don't realize right now how much you are loved by him. You are one lucky little girl to have a great loving guy as your father.
Love,
Mommy

1/24/11 -Later

Dear Ginny,
I sit here in class thinking of you. Remembering all the sweet moments that I have with you already. Like the fact that I wanted to be a mother since I was a little girl. Or the fact that I was scared that I would never get the chance to be pregnant. The day I found out that I was pregnant with you was so amazing to me. Your father was the one who actually told me the test was positive. How much of a shock was evident on my face at that time. I was thrilled to be pregnant with you and still are. When we were ten weeks a long we had the pleasure to go to the doctors and get a sonogram. We found out that your due date is May 3rd, 2011. We are thrilled to meet you around then. To see you so small then was amazing. You looked like a little gummy bear. It made the whole pregnancy seem real also to hear your heartbeat at the moment.
So far the pregnancy has been pretty easy other then last night. I haven't had any morning sickness at all and no bleeding. It's been a pretty easy ride and I hope that will keep going. Ginevera Lynne, I love you more then you realize. You make me smile every time you kick me. I hope that you will contune to grow and learn how to breathe that you will be a healthy baby because I am doing as much as I can to help you.
Love you,
Mommy

1/24/11

Dear Ginevera,
This weekend has had a major scare. On Friday morning I woke up in pain and was in the bathroom a lot that morning. Saturday morning was the same way other then I was having cramps off and on. Through the day on Saturday I barely felt you move which is very unsual. Sunday, I was feeling fine but the cramps were worse. Also you weren't moving around a whole lot. Your dad told me to call the nurses but I didn't want to seem like a first time mom worried about nothing. So I called my mom who then creamed me out. So I called and they told me to come in. We spent three hours hooked up to machines. Thank goodness you had a steady heartbeat in the 150's and all the nurses were impressed that I was only twenty-five weeks along. I was given an iv to see if your movements would pick up. You were moving a ton after that and even more so after they gave me the apple juice. Finally, we were able to go home and relax.
Ginny, please stay put until at least 37 weeks. Mommy would love to see you now but its too early still. You still need to grow and become strong and healthy. I love you so much and I don't want you to be in danger. So please stay longer its only eleven weeks more at least.
Love you,
Mommy

01/21/11: Day after a Sonogram

My Darling Little Girl,
Yesterday, we had a doctor's appointment. It was another chance for me to see you inside of me. I love having sonograms because its a way for me to see how healthy you are and how much you are growing. During the sonogram you were moving a ton which was so neat to see and feel at the same time. You kept kicking me as she tried to do the facial mesurements. Several times you were moving your hands to your face. At one point you even glasp your hands together. At one point you bounced off of me which was funny to feel and see. Now I know what causes that feeling. The doctor said that you are healthy and my uterus is measuring 27 weeks which is okay for now. Please Ginevera, Mommy begs of you not to be a ten pound baby.
Last night, I finished homework then scanned in your pictures that we got at the doctor's appointment to my computer to make sure that we will always have copies. Each picture brought a smile to my face. It still amazes me that I have you growing inside of me. You amaze me through everything. To see your little fingers in the ultrasound and to know that you are half of my genes. You are also half of your fahter's genes makes you so special. I always dreamed of this moment but never realized how amazing special it really is. No matter how much anyone tells me that you are healthy, I worry about you. I worry that something bad is going to happen between now and your birth. Nothing can really ease this worry.
At this moment you are sending me gentle kicks to remind me of you inside of me. It keeps me going strong and moving on.
I love you so very much.
Love,
Mommy

Introduction

To the Audience,
This blog is letters from me (Mother) to my daughter as she grows up into a lovely young lady. Right now, I am still pregnant with her and I talk about her all the time. I wanted a place where I can write my feelings, dreams, and hopes for her as she grows up. Also I wanted a place where I could talk about the first moment that I saw her, felt her, and even touch her. As I am twenty-five weeks along there were some first that I have missed on writing. So...let me catch you up.

August 29th, 2010: My husband and I found out we are expecting.
September 2nd, 2010: Doctor's confirmed pregnancy.
September 4th, 2010: We announced to our families that we were expecting.
October 7th, 2010: We got to hear the heartbeat for the first time and also see Ginevera. Found out that I was ten weeks and 2 days along in my pregnancy. She looked like a gummy bear.
November 2nd, 2010: Fourteen weeks along and starting to get a baby bump.
December 18th, 2010: 20 weeks along and felt my stomach twitch and realized it was Ginevera kicking.
December 23rd, 2010: 21 weeks and 2 days along. My mom, my mother-in-law, my best friend, and Stephen all came to the ultrasound to find out we are having a little girl.
December 24th, 2010: Stephen put his head on my baby bump as if he could hear her and she kicked him in the face.
December 31st, 2010: While playing on the wii. Kicks were showing on my belly.
January 9th, 2010: My mom felt Ginny kick for the first time.

That's it...can't wait to show you the letter I am working on.

Kk