06/02/11

Dear Ginny,
I can't believe you are almost two months old. It amazes me how fast you are growing into the little girl that I always have dreamed of. It hasn't been an easy road for the first month of your life. It all started the thursday before you were born when I had a doctor's appointment. I didn't expect to hear the news that my blood pressure was high. But it was and it worried the doctor enough that she wanted me to go to labor and delivery and get watched for a couple of hours in hopes that it would go down. If it did not go down then they would induce me. I was scared as I was not thirty-seven weeks pregnant with you yet. Thankfully, my blood pressure started to go down and I was sent home on bed-rest. Your grandma came down as she was worried about the two of us on Friday. She stayed the weekend with us and helped take care of us. Your dad and I decided it would be best to buy a blood pressure cuff on Friday to keep track of when my blood pressure was high. It seems that it was high when I was relaxing but when I was moving around it was lower. On Sunday, we decided to go in to labor and delievery after a huge lunch (thanks to grandma) to get checked out as my blood pressure was staying high. Our doctor was on call for the weekend and she decided to induce me that night. At about nine pm the doctor came in and broke my water. My goodness, Ginny, that is the weirdest thing ever. It was very warm and very wet. Also it would not stop coming out no matter what happened. Of course up to that point I was still not feeling contractions but were told that they were pretty strong. At midnight, I started to feel the contraction and by this time your other Grandma had arrived. The contractions were quite painful but I wanted to go as long as I could naturally to have you. At about one am in the morning I was convinced by your grandma's and your father to get the drugs so I could get some sleep as I was still only half way there. Finally, I got the drugs which was not the pleasant thing to do and was able to sleep a little bit. At seven am I still was not very far in having you so the doctor decided it was time for an emergency c-section. I cried because it was not something that I wanted. I wanted to have you naturally and be able to recover right away with you in my arms. But it was not in the plan that Heavenly father had planned. I was given more drugs so that I couldn't feel anything below my chest. To tell you the truth I wasn't nervous about the surgery. I was more nervous about my knee popping out of it's socket. It was just your dad and me in there with the doctor and lots of nurses. I heard your father say, "Lots of hair" as you were pulled from my body. You did not cry except a little whimper. You still don't cry that much which is very interesting to me. Your father went to watch them clean you up and weight you. You weighed at 8lbs 5 ozs and were 18.5 inches long. You were born on Apirl 11th, 2011 at 8:08am. Your father brought you over to me so I could see you and oh how I wanted to hold you. When we went to recovery room and I had a chance to hold you it was amazing. I loved every second of it.
Things started to go down hill after you did not nurse successfully. It broke my heart that our first attempt at breastfeeding was not successful. But I was willing to try again with you. But i was not given the chance as your blood suger was very low. Then more things started to happen and they put you in the nursery and very little let me hold you. On Tuesday the 12th at 10:00pm they decided to transfer you to another city for more help. Thankfully, I was able to go with you. Finally, you were able to come home on the 21st. Even though I had to bottle feed you some breastmilk but mostly forumla.
About a week ago though something clicked in the little mind of yours and you decided to latch on perfectly. It's amazing to breastfed you my sweet little girl. I love you so very much. I love your smiles that you give me and your little sounds.

Love you,
Mommy